Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
