Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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