just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
