kristin has been a bad kristin
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
