what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
