I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
