So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
