well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
