Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
