dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
