Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
