Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
