he puts the penis in happiness.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
