glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
