Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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