so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we're so committed to being not committed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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