I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
