this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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