try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
