I'm really into asian looking animals
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
pray to the hookup gods
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
