My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
