Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
