I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
