The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
