Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
