if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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