the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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