peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
