Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
