Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
