you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
