the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The Olympian is in my bed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
