I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
