Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
