you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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