I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
