I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
