I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am mentally ready for anal.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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