let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
