So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
