ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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