margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
