Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
