So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
