so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
