yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
