Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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