Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
