She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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