I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
