Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
